Contents
The Book’s chapters are here in order. Buying the Book or bundle unlocks each one as it is published.
This book did not begin as a book. It began with women telling me they would love to meet a man.
Part One — The Approach
The Approach begins before anything much has happened, when we are deciding whether to enter the room, what to reveal and which familiar version of ourselves to bring with us.
5 chapters · 5 written
Before you learn how to meet someone else, learn what it is like for someone else to meet you.
Peter knows exactly who he is.
Zoe is having coffee with a man who is perfectly pleasant.
Peter’s date should be going extremely well. Peter has checked.
Rosa begins telling us about the importance of her work almost from the moment she arrives. Coats are still being removed and her career has already taken its seat.
Part Two — The Encounter
The Encounter looks at what happens once another person is actually there, with needs, habits and interpretations of their own.
8 chapters · 8 written
Joey has run out of things to say, which is inconvenient because the woman opposite him has only just sat down. Her name is Chloe. He knows this because she has told him and because her name card is directly in front of her.
Chloe does not ask Joey what he does for a living.
Three days after the dinner, Toby has imagined a weekend away with Tessa.
Ollie asks Molly whether he can hold her hand.
Harry has arranged four meetings with Carrie, and all four have gone well.
Harry and Carrie have reached the point at which neither has to pretend not to know.
Fran is not frightening. At least, she has never thought of herself that way.
Most qualities that attract us have a shadow. The shadow is rarely a completely different quality. More often, it is the original strength continuing after it has stopped helping.
Part Three — The Reckoning
The Reckoning asks what remains afterwards, what keeps repeating and what we might do differently next time.
3 chapters · 3 written
Eventually we have to stop explaining what we intended and consider what actually happened.
Maya’s friends have never met Milo, but they know an exhausting amount about him.
Cheer up, old bean. You still have a pulse, and where there is a pulse there remains the possibility of surprising yourself.
Choose your way in
Choose the Book for reading, the Exercise Book for small steps, or the bundle for both.
Take the next chapter, on the house
We'll send “How Does Someone Else Experience Me?” straight away, and each new chapter as it's written. That's the whole arrangement.